Concern meetings

This article is part of a series on behaviour and communal living issues in residences. In this article, we’ll cover:

• What is a concern meeting?

• Why might you be invited to a meeting?

• What happens afterwards?

What is a concern meeting?

Living in a busy, vibrant student community can be a great experience, but it can also be difficult navigating lots of new relationships. Sometimes, living together can cause tensions with flatmates. Other times, simple misunderstandings can get out of control and turn into long-running resentments. Sometimes we make bad decisions in the moment, do things we don’t really mean to, and then don’t know how to repair a relationship afterwards.

It’s not at all unusual to find yourself unexpectedly in conflict with someone. Sometimes you might need some help to understand what’s happened, why, and what to do going forward. That's where a concern meeting can help.

Why might you be invited to a meeting?

If someone is upset by your behaviour, they might seek support from Residence Life. As a result of that conversation, a Support Manager may reach out to you to organise a concern meeting. In the simplest terms, this just means that someone has shared some worrying information about an interaction with you, and as a result, we need to meet you to understand what’s happened, why it happened, and agree what happens next. It’s not a disciplinary process, and it’s designed to offer you support; it’s a chance to discuss what happened informally, so that you can move forward.

Here are some examples of situations in which a concern meeting might be called:

• If you used unacceptable or offensive language towards someone (perhaps unintentionally).

• If someone is feeling bullied or harassed by your behaviour (especially if you don't really understand this).

• If you made threats towards someone, or something you said or did was interpreted as threatening (whether or not you realised this).

• If someone is worried that you’ve been taking risks or acting recklessly.

• If you played a prank that got out of hand, or hurt or upset someone.

• If you posted comments in a group chat that made someone feel uncomfortable, or targeted.

• If your behaviour has changed recently and someone is concerned about you.

 A meeting like this isn’t a formal disciplinary process, and it won’t result in penalties. It’s organised out of concern for you, to help you understand what's happened, and the impact it's had on the other person. It’s a chance to discuss how you acted and why, to understand the situation better, and to get some support yourself. If there were unusual circumstances that were part of the incident, or you’ve been going through a difficult time yourself, you can explain this, and get some help to understand what support might be available to you.

What happens afterwards?

Following the meeting, the Support Manager who met with you will send a follow-up email, and you’ll be signposted to relevant support services. Often your behaviour will have been out of character for you, and so it can be helpful to talk to someone to figure out how you feel about it. You can reach out to these support services if you want to, but there’s no obligation to do anything you don’t want to. 

If your behaviour really hurt someone, and you now recognise that, you might be given the opportunity to write them a letter of apology. Or, if the issue is now resolved, but you think it’s better not to have any contact with the other person going forward, you might be offered the chance to sign a non-contact agreement. This just formally states that you want to politely avoid each other to avoid further issues, and makes a plan for how to leave if you accidentally come into contact. You can read more about them in our article on non contact arrangements. Sometimes, the Support Manager will ask for your permission to tell the other person that you’ve had this meeting. This could be a first step towards repairing a relationship, or it might give the other person closure, and let you both move on.

If you’re invited to a concern meeting, you don’t have to go. It is optional. However, it’s organised out of concern for you. It’s a chance to engage with a process to help you understand how your behaviour affects others, so it’s likely to be quite helpful. It will also often result in you being offered some information and support which might really help you.

If you choose not to go, you should be aware that the person who reported you may still ask for action to be taken against you. If your behaviour continues to cause them distress, they may place a formal report and ask for a disciplinary investigation into the incidents. If that does happen, the investigating officer will be told that a Support Manager tried to meet with you at this point to help you address this concerning behaviour, and that you decided not to engage with the process. 

It’s important to note that you’ll only have one chance to attend a concern meeting. If it seems like it might be helpful to you, it will be offered to you when Residence Life first becomes aware of a concern, as a chance to help you understand and reflect on what’s happened. It’s usually best to attend when a meeting is offered. If you choose to decline it, or if you attend it and then continue to knowingly behave in a way that is upsetting to others, you won’t be offered a second meeting. Formal disciplinary action may be taken instead, and this could have serious consequences. You can read more about the disciplinary process in our other articles.

Overall, try to remember that these issues come up all the time, for lots of people. We all find ourselves in situations that have gotten out of hand, and sometimes we all need help to fix things. Meetings like this can give you a structured space to consider what happened, and understand how to handle a situation like this in future. A meeting can also help you find a way to make amends for what happened, or to access some support yourself. 

Hopefully this article has helped you to understand what a concern meeting is, why you might be invited to one, and what happens afterwards.

- Residence Life